What’s Your FCK IT List?

When I turned 40, there was one main thing I learned: you do not need to rush to ‘work it all out.’

By my 40th birthday, I had not crossed off the typical milestones. I did not have children, I was divorced and single, I did not own a home or car, and I did not earn six figures. By society’s standards, I was a complete failure.

But boy, did I enjoy my life.

• I quit university and moved abroad at 19 because I wasn’t 100% sure of what to study.
• I have lived abroad for 20 years in five countries and traveled to more than 40.
• I quit office life and started working for myself at 25.
• I have sky-dived, bungee-jumped, para-glided, and cruised in a hot air balloon.
• When I had more clarity, I did an online degree and graduated at age 30 at the top of my class.
• At 38, I started from scratch again. I got divorced, went back to study, healed my generational traumas, and started The Self Wellness Project.

If there is one thing I celebrate today is that I did whatever the hell I wanted. And that is where my next decade starts.

The problem is that so many people make decisions based on what is ‘acceptable’ or what they ‘should’ do. We compare our progress to others, without accepting that people blossom at all stages of life. We forget there is no “one-for-all” life path. We each have our own unique journey.

So, if you’ve been stressing about not having it all figured out, remember that this journey is the only one you have. So, I hope you’re also enjoying the ride and not only focused on the destination.

So, in honor of all the Non-Milestones I have collected, here’s what I will be letting go of as I embark on this next decade.

My FCK IT, I’M FORTY List

• I will not worry about what others think of me
• I will not hide my quirky traits, failures, and awkwardness
• I accept that not everyone will like me or find me too much
• I will stop taking life so seriously
• I will accept both highs and lows and not try to rush my way through them
• I will attract, not attack
• I will flow, not force
• I will let go with grace and gratitude, not grief
• I will honor whatever life brings me
• I will no longer give my energy to those who don’t cherish it

What’s your list of things that you will no longer care about or will let go? Post it somewhere so you can be reminded of it until it becomes your life mantra.